Toilet paper was her enemy.
Every time she was forced to perform her bodily duties, she sat and stared at the sinister roll, its deceptive whiteness concealing its teeth. She tried to tell her mother that she heard it snarling every time, but her mother dismissed her with, “Oh, don’t be ridiculous.”
When her first record spiked on the charts, the first thing she bought was a closet full of two-ply, quilted Charmin.
I thought this was super cute/funny! Hope you think so too! 
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